All in the Meaning

2022 was nothing special for the Rat. In many ways it was nothing but repetition. Work that is normally easy may have taken longer or required more sighs and tears, but you did it. In 2023 it may be time to present something beyond your usual – something more elegant and refined. I’d say that’s special. How about you? What will you do with this opportunity?

The Rat has quite a few lucky stars in 2023. Some masters will say that simply because you have Fortune Virtue, one of the four most powerful annual stars, that it will dissolve all your troubles. If money could solve all your problems, that might be true, and from a superficial point of view, this might be exactly right. I mean, when we don’t have to worry about money, you would think it would be easier to focus more on what matters most: the people we care about. But I don’t see a direct correlation with that in real life, how about you?

In 2023, Rats will need to know that money is not the only value they have for others. Maybe this is a blind spot you’ve had for years. People may appreciate what you provide, but money is not your value to others, though you might think they see it that way. This may be a big source of your pain and your errors.

Lucky stars can’t compare to the luck you could create with what you might say or do this year. I’m talking about the kind of luck that has to do with rehabilitating and renewing relationships. You have the power this year to do that for yourselves or others. You might want to think of yourself as a matchmaker. It’s your job to find the common ground and compatibility.

In 2023, Rats will have many admirers, invitations, and events to attend. As for romance, you might find a brief one or a long one. Flirt freely if that’s what you like to do. Most interpersonal relationships are just easier this year, that is, except for family. That’s the one area that you might want to change in 2023. This kind of problem is probably the only one that makes you claim helplessness. It’s time to move on from that position.

Whether or not you’ve realized it, there’s an urgency to the relationship repairs that Rats may need to take care of this year. The Ingratitude Penalty is in play for both the Rabbit and the Rat. In 2020 you may have been doling it out, in 2023 it may be your turn to receive.

At the root of the Penalty, there’s a problem with proportion. To the Rabbit, you are huge. To you, the Rabbit is small. You see the Rabbit as someone who needs your support and guidance and you’re not wrong. But you may be wrong about the proportion. What you think of as commensurate might not be received that way. The Rabbit is equally as capable as the Rat, it’s their priorities and goals that are different. For Rats and Rabbits who can come to terms with that, there’s no Penalty. The Rabbit is actually to be cherished by the Rat as one would cherish offspring. The Rat is to be cherished by the Rabbit as their origin. To have this role in another’s life is both a blessing and a responsibility. Mistakes will be made, naturally. Forgive and get to know each other.

When there’s conflict we tend to look for winners and losers. With the Ingratitude Penalty, everyone is on the same team when it comes to feeling unappreciated and hurt. The Penalty can turn into a standoff. Because it’s so loaded with painful past experiences, no one wants to go first in the communication required for a resolution.

In relationships, sometimes Rabbits don’t ask for what they want because they are too afraid of the NO. They might feel pre-misunderstood. Sometimes Rats try to make amends by way of substitution: I won’t give you what you’re asking for, but I’ll give you something I think will be good for you. These patterns have not led to a solution, therefore, maybe it’s time to try something different. Listen. Respond to the meaning of what is being said. Above all, it’s the demonstration of your love that is wanted. What people want from the Rat is not money, it’s love. They want the same thing from the Rabbit. We’re all looking for that elusive stamp of approval that means we can mess up and still be loved.

If you’re a Rat who has accumulated a back up of apologies to make, this is the year to give them. Be brazen about it. Get started in March. Keep going. Abandon expectations. It’s the emotional upsets that may slow you down this year and yet, I’m suggesting that you stay open to the kind of interactions where they might occur. Regardless of the past, this same difficult timing that brings the Penalty also favors your amnesty, so if not now, when will you reach out? Are you going to wait another 9 years to try again?

It’s a good thing the universe decided to give a boost to the Rat’s unique charm and appeal in 2023. You can attract people into discussions and emotional disclosures so don’t abuse your privilege. Keep secrets that are shared as such, as well as those that are not. Listen more than you talk. Don’t listen for the other person to stop talking so you can speak your piece, listen for the meaning. Don’t listen for the truth in what is spoken, listen for the meaning. Don’t listen so you can disagree, that’s not the point. The point is communication.

I doubt I need to tell you that in the Water Rabbit Year there will probably be people talking behind your back, either about the changes they think you should be making or about the changes you are making. Even as you are working to heal, there may be interference from random third parties. You probably already know this is coming. Look for the meaning, not the truth. It’s possible to change the meaning. Do your process.

Even if we don’t prefer it, or prefer to acknowledge it, the formation of our self knowledge and identity is tied to our ancestors, most closely to our parents. I think this holds true whether you know them or not. Our perceptions of our worthiness start with our experience of being reliant on caregivers, when we are helpless. I really want you to remember that you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. What you are responsible for is yours.

In a year where your elders, including grandparents, may need your help, unresolved issues will tend to resurface. Remind yourself how old you are. Ask yourself whether you might be repeating the errors your own parents made. I think most of us do, but within the prism of yin and yang we might not be aware of that. Someone who had controlling or abusive parents may take a stance with their own children that is too hands off, or too remote. That might not be a good fit either.

What if the easiest way to change what someone thinks of you is to change how you think about them? Just for a moment, put aside your opinions and see your parents and children as people, people who make mistakes even when they have the best of intentions. If they were your friends, would you think about what their parents were like? Or why they make the particular mistakes that they make? Stop thinking about what you want them to be to you, and start thinking about what you want to be to them. This will immediately change your perspective if you really do it.

If Rat is in your day pillar and you’re experiencing disconnect in relationship, this same strategy applies. Be the partner you want to be rather than focusing on them being the partner you want them to be. If this goes against reason, so much the better. You’re looking to find miracles, not every day stuff.

If you have a Rabbit or a Rat in your Ba Zi, or both, you can expect the Ingratitude Penalty to be most prominent in March and December. The location of the pillar (year, month, day or hour) will tell you more about the effect of the penalty in your life. If you have a Rabbit or Rat year, it may play out in public. Maybe it is harder on your ancestors. A Ba Zi reading will help with timing and strategy if you’re looking for that.

P.S. Have you watched The Crown?*

Job Title: Revisionary
Associates: Monkey, Rat, Dragon, Ox
Easier in: April, August, December
Romance: Yes. Maybe some drama too.

Timing for all signs: Whatever you want to accomplish this year will need to be started no later than March. Plan on finishing by July ideally, but no later than the end of August.

*The Ingratitude Penalty has been playing out in a very public way for 1984 Wood Rat Prince Harry since 2020, but there are many examples of it within the royal family.