Let me be weak, let me sleep and dream of sheep
Kate Bush

Sheep month is coming, and for those of us who no longer know for sure where we belong, sleep might provide the only escape. That is, if you can get any. If you can’t, maybe it’s time to face what you already know. There are decisions to be made and I think you already know what you’re going to decide. What’s the point in putting it off? Maybe you’re exhausted. I know I’m still catching up with processing 2020.

Find the rewards of the month by regarding the crucial role of all the small things that go your way – the ones you don’t think about much. Every assist you’ve received has probably come from a person whether you know them or not. Have you ever noticed how restorative it is when it feels like the earth is supporting you? I suppose that’s what people mean by being grounded; not sinking down or being pushed up, but held. That takes a lot of little particles getting together for your benefit.

In the Sheep month, the clash with the Ox may scatter those particles into a different form but they are still there. That suggests we all may be well served by exploring unfamiliar territory and trying on different ideas about where we belong before we decide where to settle. Who do you want to be now? To whom? Where do you belong?

On a personal note, I don’t have the answer to that question for myself, but I will say I expect it will all be much clearer after this coming month. I think my 2022 might be starting in August.

Sometimes it is so because I say so
Master Richard Ashworth

I’ve just shifted into a new 大運 Da Yun (10 year luck cycle) and the changes that are happening now have made it pretty clear that it’s the end of an era in many different ways. Guess what? My new Da Yun is a Sheep. Let’s just say I’m starting to understand and incorporate this unfamiliar energy now. It’s a steep learning curve. This Wood Sheep month will be my accelerator.

This clash of Metal Ox year and Wood Sheep month has to do with belonging – or not belonging. In BaZi terms it’s called the Year Breaker. Major changes are possible now.

The Sheep month starts off with Solar Term 小暑 Xiao Shu (Lesser Heat) on Wednesday July 7th. Solar Term 大暑 Da Shu (Great Heat) is next up starting on Thursday July 22nd.

These Terms take on a less friendly meaning this year as I’m writing this the day after coming out of the so called heat dome, basking in the marine flow coming through the window. We’ll be about 20°F cooler in Seattle today than yesterday’s all time high of 106°F. That’s not the highest temperature I’ve experienced, but it was certainly the most shocking given that I live in the Pacific Northwest. It’s hard not to be in denial about climate change even when you understand the science and see the evidence. It seems far away…until it’s not.

I haven’t been this uncertain about where I’m supposed to be since 1988. I’ve consulted my astrocartography map so I know my geographical range, but I’ve already been in the sweet spot for many years. If I stay in Seattle, that will still be true to some extent even with climate change. Would it even make sense to move now? What do I expect to get out of that? These are not idle speculations.

Seeing how it’s an Ox year, I knew I would be having questions about where I belong geographically speaking, but I was not prepared for this deep existential shifting. I think a lot of what I’m experiencing has to do with facing the idea of mortality. Mortality has been in my face since late 2019. If a majority of my mistakes have come from being over strong, I count the revelation of mortality as a blessing. It’s not too late for me to receive.

I am at a point now where I would like to be able to provide more support to my parents. They live in Arizona. I always think I want to live there again until I go there and see how much drier and windier it is now, and how much it is still the wild west. Frontier justice was never my thing. I’m not tough in that way. I want to be closer to my parents, but I don’t want to move to Arizona permanently. There were solid reasons for why I left Tucson for Seattle way back when Seattle was still more temperate and grungy. Now that’s changed too. If I stay here, am I still in the right place?

The time feels right to explore these ideas about where I belong, where I will feel safe, and where I can fulfill the role I want to play for my parents, husband and grown children. Although I think it was always the case, this is the first time I feel that I have a choice in how that role manifests, and that it’s possible to integrate it with being my authentic self. Who do I want to be now? My desire for independence and alone time has always had an uneasy co-existence with my ideas about commitment. I see a certain amount of folly in that on my part. That means I can change.

As much as the Ox’s priorities involve standing on principles even if it leaves them isolated, the Sheep’s goal is to cultivate a flexibility that ensures their integration in the group. July invites you to do both of those things at the same time. We’re all breathing the same air. No amount of distance, either real or metaphorical, will keep us separate so why keep pretending? Be who you are. Be with your family. Ask for a dream.

Just saying it could even make it happen
Kate Bush

P.S. I’m going to be in Arizona for August and September.